God Giggles

The trip had been planned for years, I would travel all over Europe for as long as it took. Five years of working in a job I hate was about to pay off and the excitement I felt was immeasurable. Pressure had been building for years and this was to be my release valve, what I had worked so hard for. So as I sat in the front seat of my car I was surprised that I was filled with a sense of dread. I had expected some trepidation but this was something else entirely. Some how I knew that something bad was going to happen on this trip. The goodbyes were said to family and the few friends I had left with unbelievable ease, I had prepared myself for difficulty in saying goodbye but there was none. While I had worked so hard to achieve this dream I had neglected the relationships I had, the people that still held faith in me would often tell me I was cold and cynical but I corrected them with one word : driven. So focused was I in succeeding that everything else fell by the way side, even so as I pulled off I had no feeling of regret, who needs people when you were constantly moving, seeing new things. I looked back one last time at the four people left in the world that still cared about me and then I was flying. Not on a plane but through my windscreen, another car coming the opposite way had lost control and struck me from the front, they would say I was dead from the moment my head smashed into the windscreen and shattered my skull but I wasn’t, i, i had just enough to time to find the regret i had misplaced, with such clarity that only imminent death can bring i saw how wrong i had been and i saw just how small my funeral was going to be, those four upside down people running towards me would be the only ones. even realising all this my final thought was still selfish, "fucking typical, if you want to make god laugh make plans"  and just like that I was hitting the floor, bouncing once, coming to rest lifeless in a mangled heap. My passport lay next to me.